Sta.sh
Title: The Flames of Lust and Passion and Other Noteable Stuff: A Diarly of a Mary Sue
Date:
Type: Original Fiction
Fandom: None
Genre: Comedy
Rating: PG-13 Language
THE FLAMES OF LUST AND PASSION and other notable stuff: A Diary of a Mary Sue
Prologue
Like, wow. All I can say… This guy…with his flaming red locks of FIRE and his emerald-green eyes…no…orbs of epic sparkle and shine. Damn. This guy. He was just…standing-NO! leaning causally against a wall, looking pretty "hawt and delishoush", too much so for me and my Plain Jane features that, for some awkward and increasingly more frequent reason, boys came to the yard and yelled "Hay!".
The flaming red head jerked his ORBS in my direction. OMG! He's totally looking at me, watdoido?! Oh, act kewl of course! I fumbled. And bumbled. Oh shit, I dropped my bag, tampons and Justin Beiber albums exploded from my purse! How embarrassing, he's going to HATE ME for the rest of my life, this epic stranger with epic features and awesome hair…
I leaned down. Fell down. And picked up my embarrassing paraphernalia (Big words, awesum), glancing up super embarrassed as my tall, now confirmed love interest, cocked a beautifully sculpted eyebrow, totally intended to make me feel like a jerk. Which I was totally being.
Somehow, I managed to stuff the 20 pound pack of tampons and other kewl and interesting knick-knacks (which I was super sure no one else would have in their bag, I mean, come on, who else carries around a magic 8 ball and some draino in their purse? No one. Originality lives here. In my fluffy pink soul), in my purse as, to my utter shock, the stranger sauntered over to be.
"Hey," said his soft lips, the words melting off of them like some sort of thing that melts in the hawtness. I choked on the air I was in the process of breathing, looking sort of like I was having a seizure. He didn't look fazed.
After roughly 10 minutes of hacking up my lungs and other organs used in the process of breathing, I looked up, ready to reply. I began choking again.
"Hey," I finally responded, sounding awkward and stupid, how lame am I seriously?
The stranger- The mysterious guy- The mysterious man- The blindingly beautiful and overwhelmingly mysterious masculine man's lips curled at the edges. A hint of a smile!? At me!? I did not deserve such a thing! I would have to remind myself to thank God and the little fairy people who live in the stump in my backyard for this blessing.
"You're sort of clumsy," he oozed in his whisper of a voice. I felt my knees begin to buckle as I pictured him saying that close to my ear or perhaps, more likely, the ear of another girl, one much more prettier and coordinated than myself.
I shuttered some sort of ridiculous reply, probably a "derrr t-thanks." Stuttering is something I do when I come in close proximity of The Chosen people. People of such beauty that, if you were to look at them without their consent, it would burn your eyeballs right out of your face. That's why I usually look at the ground. It would sux to be blind.
There was a dramatic silence, the air crackled with the sparks of intrigue and wonder. I quivered as he stepped slowly toward me, extending his beautiful and manicured hand toward my dumpy sausage fangers.
"My name…is Slade."
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I was almost literally ROFLing throughout the whole thing!
The things I loved most:
Flaming red locks of FIRE, orbs of epic sparkle and shine, hawt and delishoush, The flaming red head jerked his ORBS in my direction (is it just me or does that sound wrong?), who else carries around a magic 8 ball and some draino in their purse? No one. Originality lives here. In my fluffy pink soul, the words melting off of them like some sort of thing that melts in the hawtness, hacking up my lungs and other organs used in the process of breathing (Pretty sure that's just lungs), blindingly beautiful and overwhelmingly mysterious masculine man, God and the little fairy people who live in the stump in my backyard, The Chosen people, It would sux to be blind, and just about anything else I can quote from this.
Can I please quote you on "Originality lives here. In my fluffy pink soul" and/or "thank God and the little fairy people who live in the stump in my backyard"? PLEASE? Those are just the best things ever!
There will be more to come, its not going to be too long but maybe a few chapters for the lawlz! Oh, and feel free to quote me, just give me creditz! XD!!!